so call me arrogant - but hear me out first!
im sitting at work (for the first time all week - i just refused to go all last week, the weather is too beautiful to waste on earning money), in my metal box/furniture warehouse, organising runs, drivers and deliveries for the next day, and im literally in a trance watching the others that work here. now, in my mind i've categorized the majority. these are as follows;
* polish driver - making the most money he can and sending it all back to his family... generally communication with these guys are limited to "hello - how you doing? mm, bye"
* polish admin - found UK to be a bit comfy and have set up home - 90% of the time a good laugh, can have a chat, except when ones your manager and has the most ridiculous diet known to man kind and is just grumpy cus he cant eat the haribo
* polish warehouse staff - NEVER speak to these guys if your female and under the age of 30, theyve named you english girls by bra size and they dont care if you need a box lifting down from the racking - "YOU RACK IS GOOD" - and thats all that matters.
* english staff (the few thats left...) - all round good bunch of normal people with normal lives, like laughing at my a "bit less normal" self as it makes thier life a bit less normal too
and then we have;
*regardless-of-nationality-women-over-30 category - NOW THESE ARE A NIGHTMARE. i just watch them whinge and whine. none of them LIKE ANYTHING. not thier husband, thier children, thier sisters children, next door's kids, thier thighs, thier waist. thier cars shit, they hate food shopping, they hate food, breathing too... sometimes i just hate bouncing into work with a smile on my face. im shunned for my use of COLOUR in day to day dress. and any PATTERN?! well, i can just fuck off basically.
:-/ like its starting to bother me... but then i think hold on a teeny second! now i have nothing against the generation of working mothers (or vice versa - my friend dani hasnt been to work in longgg!) - i think the whole concept is really good for the UK's economy and keeping trade secrets in with the experts. nothing worse than the top dog getting preggers and in 9 months have to dish the dirty secrets to a spotty 16 year old who couldn't get a grade at GCSE, to cover the business while shes gone... but i think they should definitely come to terms with the fact theyve probably not been doing alot for a good few years. i.e, theyre totally and absolutely STUMPED we have the same job and salary. like, i am literally feeling thier guts getting ripped out when they look at me everyday totally not worried that this might be the rest of my life. i suppose for them they might actually care less about thier job than me, but they know they will probably work here a few days a week until they're 65... thats a good 30 more years. whereas i will openly announce my plans and hopes for the future.
i guess it must suck to be thirty if youre a crap thirty year old. you must hit a wall. the plataeu of nothing. just the day to day grind. surburban nightmare! wake up, wash your kids, feed your kids. wash yourself, maybe feed yourself, drive them all to school. drive yourself to work, get to work. be at work, eat too much crap at work, feel fat at work, whinge at work, be whinged at at work, go home. get home, feed the kids, wash the kids, try desperately to put the kids to bed, fail. try and talk to your husband, husbands asleep, dont bother washing, sleep... and then all again? whilst feeling fat still. must be terrible...
i hope they get over thier issue with me. like its not that i dont care, im just refusing to not have fun! so what if im hungover at the desk - your coffee breath is worse than my vodka sweat. and you cant even help that, cus your so stuck in "getting old" you wont bother to afford that clean at the dentist. and your too busy feeding your fat self on marks and spencer wine and salmon sandwich you wont even buy yourself a box of tic tacs on your break. you'll just keep smoking those cigarrettes you shoulda quit the day you became pregnant. you'll refuse to stop your temptation of the cake lady on friday afternoons. you'll be too scared to quit your job to spend time at home in your pride - of - joy house and spend time with your kids and that man you once couldnt live without. i bet half these women cant remember the last time them and thier dudes went out for dinner... its real sad.
ill refuse to fall too deep in. in some aspects im kinda excited to get a bit mature. to get some perspective on the real world. but ill never hate on the young girl with the scruffy hair and piercings on the desk in front of me. i wont even be at a desk. ill probs be chillin in my custom brand boutique with my kids, while they help me hand paint my new kids-art inspired smock dress. ill just never be like them. EVER EVER EVER. and looking at them everyday and feeling thier hate and to some extent, jealousy, makes me all the more excited to achieve :)
xo
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